Happy??Emo??Confuse??Which one is it??=/

Yeah yeah I am finally able to blog.I know,I know crazy huh??But I haven't been bloging in a while.Well one thing for sure is that this entry won't be sweet.First things first,apologizing season.Yeah that is right.I want take a time out to apologize to all my friends for either hurting or violated you guys in any ways that is possible and however i am capable of.I know certain things i say might have hurt not one but maybe a whole freaking lot of them.When i say freaking i mean it good.I also want to apologize to the person i love so freaking much too.When i say freaking it means a whole lot.=D Well I might hurt you and I am sorry if i didn't realize it.Well I know that I should think over my action before doing it but knowing me I will be just doing something and end up hurting someone in that process.When i come to know it I am scared it will be too late.No turning back.No...second chance.And I really don't like to think it that way.God,am I screwed up.So I want to apologize for my actions and behaviour.So SORRY!!X100

Well I am done apologizing now I want to talk about what is going on in my head lately.No,no make it today.Well I feel a little happy,a little anxious and a whole lot of mixed up emotions.Yeah.Man U is on tonight so make that a little tense up about the score.Back to topic.Well actually I have not particular reason to feel like this.Well I do have a reason for feeling like this but its much too personal though(sorry!).Well emo all day and even my aunty notice it since I wasn't my usual self but I just shrugged it off and say some excuse so that she wouldn't worry much and besides I am not up to the soal siasat she might launch towards me.I am scared I some how will break down in front of her.Totally off-guarded.So I was avoiding the whole family and pretend to be sick which I am but just faking it to be a more serious type of sickness which they buy.And so I was sitting down on the bed and suddenly a tear fell down my cheek----totally off-guarded----and I was wondering to myself why am I torchering myself??Why am I doing this again??Going thru the same freaking prosedure I have gone thru and have once vow not to do it again.Vow not to ever get myself hurt again. Well I don't know what is my freaking problem.I have great family,great friends and also great...... yah YOU get the idea.When I think back at my stupid and plain dumb emotions and behaviour I realise I was actually acting like that because I am scared.I AM scared good things never last.In fact they never do.I was pretty much scared to lose all of the freaking good friends I have and well including YOU.You don't know how it would feels like.For this people would I without hesitation take a bullet for and make that a bom too.That is how much this wonderful people are to me.I know,i know it is silly to think like this and in fact this is why i wrote it here because knowing them they will scold me for thinking like this.Trust me they can be scary.=)But you see I love this people so so so much and in fact undescribable for YOU.Haha good anxiety for those who are reading this post.Yup wonderful people.That odd to do the work.Well I am perfectly fine now and can never get better and I can't wait to hear someone's voice again.I am back to my usual self.How perfectly odd can blogging make me in a better mood.I am so gonna sleep in peace tonight mainly because I am on drugs(medicine) and that I just felt the emoness weighing out of my shoulder.I am gonna not think about this stuff for in a while.And I am g0nna sleep and sleep and sleep like a pig since I don't have to study anymore.Well unless daddy who will be willingly bring me to the cinema and that would be a whole lot better for mood-improvement.


This has been a long post and I am so glad you are still reading my crapping.Really you don't have to because I might not be able to stop myself from continous blogging if I weren't so sleepy.Well that is all and once again sorry for everything I did and thanks for everything you did.It means a lot to me.=DWell tomorrow I will post about my trip to Port Dickson and along with some pictures if possible ok.And updates on my passing birthday.Soon!!Well I am out.Bye!*wink*